The Hardest Parts of Giving a Eulogy

Once you have written a eulogy for a loved one, when you go through it, there will be certain lines where you feel particularly tender and vulnerable.

Your Opening Words

The novelist, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, once said:

“One of the most difficult things (to write) is the first paragraph. I have spent many months on a first paragraph, and once I get it, the rest just comes out very easily. In the first paragraph, you solve most of the problems with your book. The theme is defined, the style, the tone.”

The same is true in the writing of a eulogy. It is the time you and the congregation first hear your grieving voice. Your opening words will set the tone for the rest of the eulogy and often the rest of the service.

Many people will start with some words of thanks, an introduction as to who you are and a word about the hoped-for tone of the funeral:

“Thank you so much for coming to this funeral today. Many of you have come from a distance and your very presence is a tribute to our Dad.”

“My name is [Name]. I am Dad’s second son and it’s a privilege to share these thoughts on behalf of the family as we reflect on our father’s life and legacy.”

“Dad was determined that his funeral be not morbid and sad but a time of thanksgiving and a celebration of life.”

Your Concluding Words

The way you finish the eulogy is another challenging part of the service as it signifies parting and your last public utterance about your loved one. It is often a time when people express words of love, gratitude and farewell.

Here are some final words that have been used to provide comfort, honour the memory of the departed and provide hope and a sense of continuity:

"Though we mourn the loss of [Name], let us also celebrate their remarkable life. They touched each of us in unique ways, and their legacy will continue to inspire and guide us. We will carry their love with us, cherishing the memories and the lessons they imparted. Farewell, [Name], until we meet again."

"In the words of Helen Keller, 'What we have once enjoyed we can never lose; all that we love deeply becomes a part of us.' [Name] has become a part of us all, and in that way, they are immortal. May we find comfort in knowing that their light will always shine through us. Goodbye, dear [Name]."

"As we part today, let us hold onto the love and joy that [Name] brought into our lives. They taught us so much about [qualities they embodied], and it is now our turn to carry those lessons forward. In their memory, let us strive to be better, kinder, and more loving. Rest in peace, [Name], you will be dearly missed."

"Although we must say goodbye to [Name] today, let us find solace in the fact that their impact on our lives will never fade. We will honour their memory by embracing the values they lived by and by keeping their spirit alive in our hearts. Thank you, [Name], for everything. We will love you always."

"As we gather here to remember [Name], let us be grateful for the time we had with them. Their life was a testament to [specific values or achievements], and they leave behind a legacy that will continue to inspire us. Though they are gone, their love and influence remain. Goodbye, [Name], and thank you for everything."

Geoff Pound

Photo by Jan Canty on Unsplash.