Dick Ruth’s viral statement, written and polished over 25 years, is an encouragement to write or get our own eulogy written. For our own sake. For our family and the inspiration of others.

"Your eulogy will spell out the qualities you have valued thus far in your life and they will crystallise how you want to live in the time you have left."

“It is important that families talk to their loved ones about their funeral wishes, songs, people they’d like to have participate in their funeral and what they want said and not said.”

Artificial Intelligence is pretty good at creating a speech if you’re in a hurry but it doesn’t cut the mustard for a speech that is personal, accurate and specific.

“If any of you are around when I have to meet my day, I don’t want a long funeral. And if you get somebody to deliver the eulogy, tell them not to talk too long.”

It takes courage and sensitivity to say what needs to be said.

Once you have written a eulogy for a loved one, when you go through it, there will be certain lines where you feel particularly tender and vulnerable.

I don’t mean where you grew up, got your first job etc. I mean what’s your STORY? What narrative have you constructed from the events of your life?

“If you find yourself preparing a eulogy—if your grief will allow it—consider including the stories that mean the most to you. The power of those memories will tell more about the person who has passed away than all the biographical details …”

“I’ve never felt love like it. I’ve never felt joy like it. I’ve never felt such kinship with mortality. I’ve never felt so alive.”

The person whose biography [eulogy] is not worth writing has never yet been born…

“Why are eulogies only for dead people? Why do we wait so long to recognise each other’s gifts? Why are the truest compliments and the sincerest sentiments said about our loved ones when they can no longer hear and savour and bask in them?

It’s a valuable exercise to follow Twentyman’s lead and write your eulogy in a nutshell.

As we exit the stage, our story will probably be told by family members and friends as they stitch together a eulogy by stringing a few memories together. Will they tell your story truthfully? Will they tell your story comprehensively? Will they tell your story effectively?

In a statement penned on the day when Marian Lois Shields Robinson (Michelle Obama’s mother) had passed peacefully that morning, there are lots of helpful insights for the creating of eulogies from an expert writer and speechmaker.

Speaking directly to the person gives a sense of immediacy because what is spoken is said in the present tense not the past tense. It also ratchets up the emotional intensity in these speeches…

That was the observation and the best commendation after my sisters and I had teamed up to share the eulogy for our mother-Olwyn: “Everybody came out of the funeral service with a smile on their faces.”

if I find bits and pieces of her in my life and others, then I can really celebrate it. So that’s really honouring the life that she lived…

…the writing of each eulogy helped her through her own grief. It clarified the best of who each person was, the difference their lives had made and how powerful can be the single influence of one life.

In death, we wanted to bring her out into the light. We wanted to honour her overcoming of shyness, her feistiness and courage, her devoted care for those in need and her open hospitality.