Eulogy Tips from Barack Obama

Marian Lois Shields Robinson

In a statement penned on the day when Marian Lois Shields Robinson (Michelle Obama’s mother) had passed peacefully that morning, there are lots of helpful insights for the creating of eulogies from an expert writer and speechmaker.

While this statement is not technically a spoken eulogy, President Barack Obama knows that your introduction and concluding words are so important.

How you start is so important for a speaker when you are filled with grief and wondering how you’ll cope with your swinging emotions. Barack starts his statement with these strong words:

Marian Lois Shields Robinson — our mother, mother-in-law, and grandmother — had a way of summing up the truths about life in a word or two, maybe a quick phrase that made everyone around her stop and think. Her wisdom came off as almost innate, as something she was born with, but in reality it was hard-earned, fashioned by her deep understanding that the world’s roughest edges could always be sanded down with a little grace.

Then he follows it up with some wise examples from his mother-in-law before telling her story.

Barack doesn’t tell Marian Robinson’s story and then ends abruptly. He tapers to his conclusion by telling succinctly how different family members will miss her:

As a mother, she was our backstop, a calm and nonjudgmental witness to our triumphs and stumbles… 

For Barack and Kelly, she was the best mother-in-law anyone could hope for…

As a grandmother, at every stage of their lives, from infancy through adulthood, she stood secondary watch over her grandchildren’s growth and development…

And as a sister, aunt, cousin, neighbor, and friend to so many, she was beloved beyond words by countless others… 

Then incorporating everyone who is grieving it continues:

We will all miss her greatly, and we wish she were here to offer us some perspective, to mend our heavy hearts with a laugh and a dose of her wisdom.

Then some words that help people to see a silver lining:

Yet we are comforted by the understanding that… 

The concluding words have an uplift and a forward-looking significance:

There was and will be only one Marian Robinson. In our sadness, we are lifted up by the extraordinary gift of her life. And we will spend the rest of ours trying to live up to her example.

This statement is full of stories and cameos that capture Marian’s life and inform the readers and hearers about her values and character:

She volunteered for the PTA and taught her children to read at an early age, sitting together as they sounded out words on a page, giving them the strength and confidence to walk to school — and out into the world — all on their own. She once chewed out a police officer who had accused Craig of stealing a bike, demanding that the adult apologize to her son. On summer nights, she’d pack the family into the car with a steaming plate of chicken for a trip to the drive-in movies. On New Year’s Eve, she’d pass around pigs in a blanket and raise a toast to Auld Lang Syne. And every night, for years on end, she and Fraser would hold court at the dinner table, where they indulged all manner of questioning, teaching their children to believe in the power and worth of their own voices.

The detail is exquisite and by this we learn interesting things about Marian’s love and strength:

On Election Night in 2008, when the news broke that Barack would soon shoulder the weight of the world, she was there, holding his hand…

With a healthy nudge, she agreed to move to the White House with Michelle and Barack. We needed her. The girls needed her. And she ended up being our rock through it all… 

The trappings and glamour of the White House were never a great fit for Marian Robinson. “Just show me how to work the washing machine and I’m good,” she’d say. 

In only 1,000 words, which take 5 minutes to read, the Obama family has created an impressive statement that is full of love, gratitude and inspiration.

Geoff Pound

Source: Barack Obama, ‘Statement on the Passing of Mrs. Marian Robinson from Barack and Michelle Obama, Craig and Kelly Robinson, and their children,’ Medium, 31 May 2024.

Image: “There was and will be only one Marian Robinson.” RIP Mrs Robinson.